Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Everyone can be a Professional Photographer

How to Become a Professional Photographer

Step 1 - Get a super duper incredibly good gazillion dollar camera. If you get a good enough camera it will do all the work for you, and all you'll have to do is point and snap to produce the most incredible photos.

* If you can't afford a super duper incredibly good camera, then ANY camera will do. You can use disposibles, polaroids (so classic) or even your phone. *

Step 2 - Snap Away!
Take pictures of everything and anything to build up your portfolio.

Step 3 - Create your own Photography business. Make sure to give it a FUN name. Something girly is probably your best bet. Or just choose any noun (that's a person, place or thing for all you than may not know) and precede it by an adorable adjective, and follow it with PHOTOGRAPHY to emphasize that this is a photography business. Examples may be Funky Bucket Photography, or Darling Daisy Photography or Flourescent Dreams Photography.


Step 4 - Design a website to advertise your work. Make it as PRO looking as possible with hip music and shnazzy backgrounds. Include ALL the photos that you have ever taken.... even the bad ones from your "starting out" days. You want everyone to know how much you have improved over the last couple of weeks since you have adopted photography as your passion.


Step 5 - Go PRO by charging people outlandish rates. You know your work is ALL THAT, and they should too. And they can express their amazement of your fine picture taking skills by paying you for all that you're worth. You'll be rolling in dough in no time.



TIPZ

Since we're feeling amazingly generous today, we will share some photography secrets with you so that you can become an all-star photographer too.

Tip Numero Uno - Make your photos blurry. This will give the picture an abstract effect. This is especially useful when photographing less attractive people. If you blurr their imperfections, they will be forever grateful to you for making them look HOTTTTER.


Tip Numero Deux - Take pictures from only one angle. Straight-On shots are THE best for a reason, so just stick to the classics and you can't go wrong.

Tip Numbero Trio - Make sure you edit the CRAP out of your photo to the point of it not even resembling the original. It's totally cool how you can tranform whatever you captured into something completely different. Change colours as much as you can to give your photos a funky flair.



Tip Numero Quatro - Follow the rules of symmetry. Make sure that the subject of the photo is at the very centre. The horizon should be smack in the middle of the picture. HALF AND HALF.



Tip Numbero Five-O - Learn how to work the macro setting. Macro is probably THE coolest thing about photography. The best macro pictures are of things that may seem totally uninteresting normally, but become INCREDIBLY cool when you zoom right in. So go wild and take pictures of your arm hair, your dog's nose, mosquitos, nostrils, toenails and blades of grass.