Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Everyone can be a Professional Photographer
Step 1 - Get a super duper incredibly good gazillion dollar camera. If you get a good enough camera it will do all the work for you, and all you'll have to do is point and snap to produce the most incredible photos.
* If you can't afford a super duper incredibly good camera, then ANY camera will do. You can use disposibles, polaroids (so classic) or even your phone. *
Step 2 - Snap Away!
Take pictures of everything and anything to build up your portfolio.
Step 4 - Design a website to advertise your work. Make it as PRO looking as possible with hip music and shnazzy backgrounds. Include ALL the photos that you have ever taken.... even the bad ones from your "starting out" days. You want everyone to know how much you have improved over the last couple of weeks since you have adopted photography as your passion.
Step 5 - Go PRO by charging people outlandish rates. You know your work is ALL THAT, and they should too. And they can express their amazement of your fine picture taking skills by paying you for all that you're worth. You'll be rolling in dough in no time.
TIPZ
Since we're feeling amazingly generous today, we will share some photography secrets with you so that you can become an all-star photographer too.
Tip Numero Uno - Make your photos blurry. This will give the picture an abstract effect. This is especially useful when photographing less attractive people. If you blurr their imperfections, they will be forever grateful to you for making them look HOTTTTER.
Tip Numero Deux - Take pictures from only one angle. Straight-On shots are THE best for a reason, so just stick to the classics and you can't go wrong.
Tip Numbero Trio - Make sure you edit the CRAP out of your photo to the point of it not even resembling the original. It's totally cool how you can tranform whatever you captured into something completely different. Change colours as much as you can to give your photos a funky flair.
Tip Numero Quatro - Follow the rules of symmetry. Make sure that the subject of the photo is at the very centre. The horizon should be smack in the middle of the picture. HALF AND HALF.
Tip Numbero Five-O - Learn how to work the macro setting. Macro is probably THE coolest thing about photography. The best macro pictures are of things that may seem totally uninteresting normally, but become INCREDIBLY cool when you zoom right in. So go wild and take pictures of your arm hair, your dog's nose, mosquitos, nostrils, toenails and blades of grass.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Retro Trends that are Back with a BANG!
Paris Hilton was spotted wearing a pink polka dot scrunchie on her wrist before her tennis lesson two Thursdays ago. During the lesson she slid it off her hand and threw it in her hair to make the cutest ponytail. According to TMZ’s latest fashion trends, scrunchies are back in business! So hurry and get some before the rest of the world does and calls you a copycat!
Not only is Paris bringing back the scrunchie, but her tennis socks were white with little white ruffles at the top. Boutiques all around Los Angeles are stocking up and supplies are flying off the shelves.
Knee Highs* A Note on Cankles *
And if you are worried about cankles, you MUST wear shoes with straps that go around your ankles or cute little anklets. It’s a proven fact that this dwindles the appearance of cankles and gives you a cute slimming ankle rather then the dreaded tree trunk leg.
Bellbottoms
Another great way to hide your cankles is with bellbottoms. Luckily for all our ankle heavy friends, bellbottoms have been spotted in the most trendy shops in Paris and Milan. Men and women all over the most stylish regions of Europe have been seen in bellbottoms. If you have any Italian friends from your travels abroad, check their Facebook pics and you’ll be able to see for yourself. Since fashion trends always start in Europe first, and then slowly head over to the west, this little tid bit of info will put you way ahead of the curve in North America.
Katie Holmes in Milan, Italy
Cutoffs
Arrested Development poked fun at cut off jeans as Tobias Funke wore them as a never-nude. However, in our time of global recession being thrifty counts. So why would you waste perfectly good jeans after you're done with them by throwing them out? You can re-use them by turning them into some stylish cut-offs. The cool thing about them is that you're totally in control, so you can make them into any length you want. Just remember to fray them at the bottoms. 
You thought that flannel died with Kurt Cobain, and so did we… but it has recently been resurrected back into mainstream fashion. 
Candid photos of Rob in flannel
Overalls
Lately millions of junior high student have been seen in overalls. This trend is TOTALLY coming back for the younger sector of our population. The heartthrob Zac Efron was seen wearing overalls, and that got the teenage girls screaming. First it started with them trying to copy him, because he's quite the catch in the junior high arena. Since the boys are now competing for the hearts of the girls with Zac Efron and his post-puberty hottnes, they also became converted to overalls. So now if you go to any junior high in the mid-west and pacific regions, you will see scores of kids in overalls. It's almost unreal. What's even more amazing is that teenagers are now becoming regulars at their local salvation army stores in their search for overalls, since regular stores haven't been selling any since around 1996.
She let her feelings for Zac show when she was caught on camera
Thursday, April 9, 2009
McDonalds - I'm Lovin' It
Why do we all love McDonalds so very much?
As previously mentioned in this blog, many items on the McDonald’s menu contain carbs, and carbs are good for your health and weight loss. The calories contained in the food simply get eaten away by all the carbs that are in each meal. McDonalds truly is a wonderful creation.
Supersize me????
There has been some criticism of McDonald’s for making the world obese, but these opinions have no validity whatsoever.
The movie “Supersize Me” is a bit of a dramatization to say the least. See, many businesses were, and still are, losing money because people love McDonalds so much for its deliciously healthy food.
So the movie was produced to deter people from McDonalds, and to distribute its profits to grocery stores and other restaurants, but this did not work. The truth speaks louder than words (especially untruthful words) and that is why McDonald’s remains a booming business to this day.
This evil propaganda movie had no chance in turning any of us off of McDonald’s with its lies. Watching Morgan Spurlock eat all that glorious food only makes any normal human being just crave it more. How could anyone even resist pausing the movie for a quick McDonald’s run to pick up some french fries and a McFleury.
To counter these vicious attacks, McDonalds paired up with the governments of several nations to add subliminal messages to music, movies and television programs telling us to continue going to McDonalds. The government and McDonalds have a very close relationship, because both are great advocates of liberty and laissez faire economics. Also, McDonalds donates billions of dollars to help the government with heath care, and in return the governments of these countries allow it to hide their ads in the media, especially public television and radio. The governments obviously know what they’re doing, because the health system in each of the participating nations has improved dramatically in recent years. The Milkshake Diet
The Milkshake diet is a revolutionary new way of helping you lose those unwanted pounds with ease and pleasure. It has been kept a secret since its birth in the spring of 2005. Only a select few have heard of its wonders until now… when you can become more acquainted with its genius via this blog.
It originated in Manchester, England, the former home of David Beckham and Posh Spice (the most fit/skinny couple in the world), and soon after made its way to Europe and North America.
This is what the diet entails. But remember, you have to strictly keep to it to see the results.
Skip out on breakfast.
Studies have shown that eating early in the day is not good for your metabolism. After hours of sleep, your body has slowed down drastically, so your metabolism needs a few hours to adjust to your body being awake before it begins working at its regular pace to process the food you eat in the morning.
Have a McDonalds milkshake for lunch.
(Preferably the banana flavoured milkshakes. Some restaurants do not carry them, but if you can find one that does, stick to it. Bananas are a carb and therefore slightly more healthy than vanilla or chocolate, so you can drink them completely guilt free.)
The milkshake you drink for lunch will keep you full until dinner time. So instead of eating the calories worth of an entire meal and random snacks throughout the day, you just drink ONE milkshake. Less food = less weight gain.
Eat what you normally would for dinner.
To boost the effects of this diet, stick to starchy foods that are high in carbs.
The idea was inspired by a slim-fast commercial from back in the 90s. But since most people find slim fast to taste rather gross, it was replaced by milkshakes from McDonalds because they taste so much better. Some have criticized this idea, or have not taken it seriously, but it makes complete and utter sense.
Less food means less weight no matter how you look at it, so you might as well eat food that fills you up and tastes good, as long as it’s smaller in volume.
How can McDonalds Milkshakes be so good for you?
The studies on this subject have not yet been released, but we know from inside sources the secrets behind these very healthy, yet yummy, beverages. On top of the calcium from the milk substitute (remember, milk is bad for you, so stop drinking it) contained in the milkshakes, each delicious gulp you take is full of protein from bird feathersEach milkshake contains a substantial amount of crushed up bird feathers. They are ground up so finely that they just smooth right into the mixture. Sometimes, they do not completely blend in, and that is why the milkshakes turn out grainy. These are still good, so don’t worry about drinking them. They may feel more like slurpees, and slurpees are yummy and actually even more healthy than milkshakes. So each milkshake is jammed packed with calcium from the milk substitute and protein from bird feathers, and that always makes for a healthy combination.
So give this diet a try. You’ll be happy you did as you’re sipping on yummyness while losing weight.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Go Crazy for Carbs
In recent years there’s been all this buzz about how carbs are bad for you, and how you need to stay away from them in order to get thin. That is a bunch of bologna. People have been eating carbs since the world began, and they got along just fine. Even when you look at the world’s population today, millions of people live on carbs alone (rice is a carb, and tons of people are on all-rice diets) and they are super skinny. So here are some tips on how you can lose a whole lot of weight by going on an All-Carb diet. Trust us, this really works. Since sticking to only eating carbs, we’ve been losing inches all over the place.
1) Carbs help burn calories. Like they just eat the fat all up basically.
2) Grains are a carb.
So this includes breads, pasta, rice, potatoes and yummy baked goods.
You might think that eating lots of cookies and cake might be bad, but that’s just one of those stupid dieting myths. Carbs are good for you in any form.
3) Butter is a carb.
For some reason butter totally helps with weight loss, and it makes things taste way yummier. That’s why popcorn is such a healthy snack. Popcorn is a carb, and butter is a carb, so you’re getting double the carbs in one healthy dose of goodness.
We did a bit of research for this blog, and since butter is a carb and going to bed hungry is SO bad for you, we recommend that you start eating crackers dipped in butter for a midnight snack. It is so yummy, and butter = carb, crackers = carb, plus eating before bed = tons of calorie burning!!! We think we’re onto a HUGE scientific breakthrough there.
4) Try not to cheat by eating non-carbs. They will just prevent you from shedding the pounds.
5) Drink less.
You’re allowed to drink water, even though it’s a protein, because you need to keep your body hydrated. But keep a limit on how much you drink. People living in Sub-Saharan Africa live in an extremely dry climate, and they are on average much skinnier than people who live in areas with an easy access to water.
6) Stay away from milk and milk-products. Milk is not a carb, therefore it would just counter-balance all the carbs that you have put into your system, and make you gain the pounds right back.
Since your body needs calcium to keep your bones strong and your smile healthy, you can get it from non-milk sources such as Jell-O. Jell-O is composed of crushed horsey hoofs, which is bones, and that has calcium. Even though it isn't a carb, you still need to eat something that contains calcium so that your teeth don’t start chipping on you. But you have to make up for it by eating a few extra carb meals.
7) Say "NO" to eggs.
Besides the fact that they are baby chicken feti, which is absolutely horrific and gross, they also make you bulk up. So if you want to get bigger, you’d eat eggs. That's what Rocky did when he wanted to beef up for a match. Eggs will go straight to your muscles (that includes your butt since it's a muscle, and really, the last thing you want is a bigger butt), and you are going to look like Arnold in his body building days, instead of... say, Tyra in her skinny modeling days.
8) Mushrooms are also a carb. People assume that just because you can get them in the produce section of your supermarket that they are a vegetable, but that isn’t true. Mushrooms are actually a fungus, and I’m pretty sure that living organisms like fungi are made up of carbohydrates, so mushrooms would be about 85% carbs (the other 15% is water).
9) This might sound sooooooo gross, but it’s 150% true. Eating pig’s bladder is a HUGE health booster and a total lose weight booster. See, pigs only eat carbs, so their bladders are full of them.
You just fry it up in the frying pan a little with olive oil, then sprinkle on some flour (carb) and stick it in the oven on 350 for 20 min... and voila!
Sure it sounds TOTALLY disgusting, but if it works then why not give it a try.
10) French fries are da bomb when it comes to losing weight. They are so good for staying slim because they're made out of potatoes, and potatoes are carbs. Just recall your high school days when you were the smallest you have ever been, and you ate nothing but french fries for months on end.
Also, on the news there was this girl who seriously could only eat french fries, and yet was as healthy as a horse and skinny as ever. You can google it.
11) Contrary to popular belief, McDonalds is a great source to help you lose weight because of all the carbs that their food contains. Sure in the magazines and on TV it says it’s bad for you, but just go with your instinct rather than trusting the media.
There's tomatoes and lettuce in their burgers. The last time I checked that was healthy, right? Plus there's pickles too. That's like 3 servings of fruit/vegetables.
It’s the best to get a big mac, because it comes with an extra piece of bun in between the burgers. And buns are yummy and have loads of carbs, which is super good.
