In recent years there’s been all this buzz about how carbs are bad for you, and how you need to stay away from them in order to get thin. That is a bunch of bologna. People have been eating carbs since the world began, and they got along just fine. Even when you look at the world’s population today, millions of people live on carbs alone (rice is a carb, and tons of people are on all-rice diets) and they are super skinny. So here are some tips on how you can lose a whole lot of weight by going on an All-Carb diet. Trust us, this really works. Since sticking to only eating carbs, we’ve been losing inches all over the place.
1) Carbs help burn calories. Like they just eat the fat all up basically.
2) Grains are a carb.
So this includes breads, pasta, rice, potatoes and yummy baked goods.
You might think that eating lots of cookies and cake might be bad, but that’s just one of those stupid dieting myths. Carbs are good for you in any form.
3) Butter is a carb.
For some reason butter totally helps with weight loss, and it makes things taste way yummier. That’s why popcorn is such a healthy snack. Popcorn is a carb, and butter is a carb, so you’re getting double the carbs in one healthy dose of goodness.
We did a bit of research for this blog, and since butter is a carb and going to bed hungry is SO bad for you, we recommend that you start eating crackers dipped in butter for a midnight snack. It is so yummy, and butter = carb, crackers = carb, plus eating before bed = tons of calorie burning!!! We think we’re onto a HUGE scientific breakthrough there.
4) Try not to cheat by eating non-carbs. They will just prevent you from shedding the pounds.
5) Drink less.
You’re allowed to drink water, even though it’s a protein, because you need to keep your body hydrated. But keep a limit on how much you drink. People living in Sub-Saharan Africa live in an extremely dry climate, and they are on average much skinnier than people who live in areas with an easy access to water.
6) Stay away from milk and milk-products. Milk is not a carb, therefore it would just counter-balance all the carbs that you have put into your system, and make you gain the pounds right back.
Since your body needs calcium to keep your bones strong and your smile healthy, you can get it from non-milk sources such as Jell-O. Jell-O is composed of crushed horsey hoofs, which is bones, and that has calcium. Even though it isn't a carb, you still need to eat something that contains calcium so that your teeth don’t start chipping on you. But you have to make up for it by eating a few extra carb meals.
7) Say "NO" to eggs.
Besides the fact that they are baby chicken feti, which is absolutely horrific and gross, they also make you bulk up. So if you want to get bigger, you’d eat eggs. That's what Rocky did when he wanted to beef up for a match. Eggs will go straight to your muscles (that includes your butt since it's a muscle, and really, the last thing you want is a bigger butt), and you are going to look like Arnold in his body building days, instead of... say, Tyra in her skinny modeling days.
8) Mushrooms are also a carb. People assume that just because you can get them in the produce section of your supermarket that they are a vegetable, but that isn’t true. Mushrooms are actually a fungus, and I’m pretty sure that living organisms like fungi are made up of carbohydrates, so mushrooms would be about 85% carbs (the other 15% is water).
9) This might sound sooooooo gross, but it’s 150% true. Eating pig’s bladder is a HUGE health booster and a total lose weight booster. See, pigs only eat carbs, so their bladders are full of them.
You just fry it up in the frying pan a little with olive oil, then sprinkle on some flour (carb) and stick it in the oven on 350 for 20 min... and voila!
Sure it sounds TOTALLY disgusting, but if it works then why not give it a try.
10) French fries are da bomb when it comes to losing weight. They are so good for staying slim because they're made out of potatoes, and potatoes are carbs. Just recall your high school days when you were the smallest you have ever been, and you ate nothing but french fries for months on end.
Also, on the news there was this girl who seriously could only eat french fries, and yet was as healthy as a horse and skinny as ever. You can google it.
11) Contrary to popular belief, McDonalds is a great source to help you lose weight because of all the carbs that their food contains. Sure in the magazines and on TV it says it’s bad for you, but just go with your instinct rather than trusting the media.
There's tomatoes and lettuce in their burgers. The last time I checked that was healthy, right? Plus there's pickles too. That's like 3 servings of fruit/vegetables.
It’s the best to get a big mac, because it comes with an extra piece of bun in between the burgers. And buns are yummy and have loads of carbs, which is super good.
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